Red-light District Amsterdam – The Singelgebied

 

Just a few minutes walk from the Amsterdam’s main Red Light District is another, smaller Red Light district known as the Singelgebied.  Simply by virtue of that short distance, this red light district has avoided becoming the octane-fueled tourist-trap that the main red light district has.

 

The rough coordinates for getting there are that you should head over to the other side of the Damrak, which is the big street stretching down from the Central train station to Dam Square, bordering the main Red Light district to the West, and keep moving West, across the main pedestrian shopping street, Nieuwendijk, and then across the wide Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal, until you hit Spuistraat, at which point you should see your first scatterings of red light windows.  Use our map to gain your bearings.

 

Although not as big, the Singelgebied is a good opportunity to get a sense of the original idea behind Dutch red light districts and the atmosphere could not be more different.  Whereas the ladies behind the windows in the main district operate in a high pressure, battery farm environment, in which they spend their working lives being stared at by a never-ending stream of rubber-necking tourists and drugged idiots from every corner of the globe, the Singelgebied experience is far more relaxed.

The women in the tourist-infested main district know that they only have a few seconds to attract the attention of any individual passing by their window, so, they do their best to perfect a look of happy surprise as the target comes into view, hoping to trigger whatever base mammalian reactions they can.

The second they perceive that they have failed to hook that passerby, they instantly switch their happy surprise to the next likely contender, and on and one, ad infinitum.

As an intellectual exercise, I heartily recommend casually standing in the background and watching this fishing technique in action, it is an eye-opening lesson in the ruthless capacity of humans to deceive other humans and, when you see how quickly some dummy get hooked, a lesson in just how unsophisticated such traps have to be.

Due to the fact that tourists are highly unlikely to ever become regular customers, there is little incentive for conscientious sex workers to rent windows in the main district, it is a far more attractive proposition to women who provide a lousy service and whose main prerogative is to get the customer out the door as quickly as possible.

Sadly, it is also the perfect environment for outright scams, as detailed elsewhere in this guide: if you know that your tourist customer probably isn’t even going to know how to find the police station, there is little reason not to change the terms of your deal mid-shag or find some other way to extract money from him. There are good practitioners in the main red light district but it is hard, for the newbie, to determine who they are and the prevailing trend is towards gutting tourists as efficiently as possible.

This makes the Singelgebied a welcome change of pace.  For a start, the atmosphere is entirely more relaxed and less crowded, because you aren’t dealing with busloads of tourists being disgorged into narrow streets.  There are far fewer people walking around but, of those who are, a far higher proportion are actually there to partake, not just to gawk.

Although a fair proportion of the customers strolling around Singelgebied are foreigners, the fact that they even know about this district means that they are far more aware and knowledgeable than the average tourist.  This is where Amsterdam locals come to waggle their willies and the dominant tendency, therefore, in this area, is to provide a good service on the basis that the customer, whether local or foreign, could become a repeat customer.

 

Standard prices tend to be roughly the same, but you are far less likely to get ripped off – if you are told that you are paying x amount for a “suck and fuck”, both the suck and the fuck are likely to occur without sudden, unscheduled demands for additional payments.  If you find that blatant attempts at extortion spoil your rhythm, you are likely to find a shag in the Singelgebied to be a more pleasurable experience overall.

 

It has been suggested that, on the whole, the women in the main red light district tend to be younger and more glamorous than those in the Singelgebied but, really, I feel that ties into the industrial effort to get idiots in the door.  There is one blonde East European stunner in the main district, with a look of heart-stopping beauty and sweet innocence, who has been operating there for years and, as far as anyone on the forums can tell, she has never actually had sex with anyone after they handed over their money.  Instead, she always finds some pretext or other to chase them out. Good for her, I suppose, but it is not a consumer success story.

 

By contrast, the women in the Singelgebied tend to transact business in that straightforward Dutch manner, earnestly living up to their side of the deal – the business-like manner can be enough to wilt any man’s erectile enthusiasm, but at least you aren’t getting ripped off.

 

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